Loving Yourself and How to Recognize Verbal Abuse

abuse, church, relationships -

Loving Yourself and How to Recognize Verbal Abuse

preaching face cartoon by nakedpastor david hayward

A preacher decides which face to use for preaching: Loving? (in cobwebs) Disappointed? Angry? Furious?

LOVING YOURSELF AND RECOGNIZING VERBAL ABUSE

Can you tell when you're being verbally abused?

I get verbally abused.

It takes some a while to recognize when it's happening because abusive speech was normal growing up.

After I left the ministry I visited a church. When the preacher preached I was pushing myself back into my chair, physically reacting to his abusive speech.

I decided to never go back if he was preaching.

I've learned how to recognize verbal abuse. I can smell it a mile away.

You can too.

Here are 10 signs you’re being verbally abused:

  1. You think, "I don't deserve this!”
  2. They are aggressively shouting, pointing, and using all CAPS.
  3. You think, “I'd never speak to anyone like this!"
  4. You think, "What they're saying just isn't true!"
  5. You doubt yourself while they're talking.
  6. You don't feel free to respond and they won't listen anyway.
  7. If you express your hurt, you're blamed for being too sensitive.
  8. They say terrible things but add "I love you" or a nice emoji.
  9. They use words always and never.
  10. You fear that this could escalate.

This is not comprehensive.

The first step to realizing you’re being verbally abused is knowing that you don't deserve this. It's an assault on your person.

So when you're being verbally abused, what can you do?

If it’s safest to endure until you're safe and secure, do so.

Or, if you can, hang up, walk away, block.

You don’t deserve to be verbally abused.
You can demand people speak to you with respect.

Establish a boundary. If they violate it, THEY'RE the ones who broke the communication, not YOU for not tolerating it.

Love yourself.


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