jonah and the drag queens
1Now the word of the President came to Jonas son of Douglas Amittai Randall, Jr., via the US Army draft office, saying, 2 Go at once to Iraq, that dusty country, and police it; for the wickedness of Saddam s family continues to vex me, and not everyone is accepting the government we ve put in place. 3But Jonas set out to flee to Mexico from the presence of the President, since he had read in the New York Times online that the war in Iraq was illegal, and he was sort of a pacifist, and besides, he didn t want to get himself blown to pieces. He went down to Freeport on the Texas coast, and found a party boat full of drag queens going to Tampico; so he paid his fare and went on board, to go with them to Tampico, away from the presence of the President and the draft office.
4 But a hurricane to rival Katrina rose up, and such a mighty storm came upon the sea that the boat threatened to break up. 5Then the queens were afraid, and screamed. They were all pretty drunk already, but they threw the rest of the booze that was in the ship into the sea, to lighten it. Jonas, meanwhile, had gone down into the hold of the ship and had lain down, and was fast asleep. 6The captain came and said to him, What are you doing sound asleep? Get up, we re praying! We re not sure God s gonna listen to us, but you look like a happy het, if a little bi-curious; c mon, pray, and maybe God ll spare us a thought so that we don t perish.
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