Just to Pay the Bills
I watched The Sketches of Frank Gehry, a documentary on one of the most radical and unconventional architects of our time. He describes the turning point in his life. At a party, a friend asked him why he designed and built a certain building. "Because I needed to pay the bills!" His friend remarked, "I don't like it!" Gehry said, "I don't either!" His friend responded, "Well, never do it again! Stop doing that!" They shook hands and Gehry agreed never to do anything ever again just to pay the bills. He went on from that point to create the most amazing architectural wonders in the world, such as the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain. He said life got harder and scarier, but he experienced a freedom and a happiness he hadn't known before. Lately, I feel that much of what I do is to pay the bills. I'm tired of it. I don't like what I do. It has become expected, conventional and boring. I want to break out of the safe box I've created for myself and what others learn to applaud. I'm bored, restrained, cautious, and uncreative. I need to shake the hand of passion, risk, and adventure and courageously thrust myself into my own life, a life of authentic creativity that is truly mine and not borrowed, stolen or copied.